mychai's Diaryland Diary

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Who reads JP's diary:

It's been kind of strange in diary world lately.

First off, I was checking my hit reports, etc, and I saw that someone linked into this here diary out of Google from a search about Steven from the Dell Computer commercials. It's kind of funny that, out of all of the things I have written about on the diary, it was that one entry that someone hit on out of Google.

Thus starts the game of saying weird, gross, outlandish things on the diary to see which sickos search for them. And now for the first one:

JP has a donkey penis.

Yet another hit from a girl from my graduating class off of the alumni page. You remember that one... I fretted over posting the address in fear of what people may think.

Well, out of the whopping TWO people who have followed the link off of the alumni page, I have gotten a pretty decent response.

This last one was Jill, the First. Girlfriend, that is. At least, I think it was that Jill.

If not, boy is *MY* face red.

She said that she stayed up alllll night reading my diary and that I am -- and I quote exactly -- "not at all like the

jon paul i knew in school."

Well... we "went together" in fifth grade. I asked her to "go together" by letter and I don't think we ever talked much after that letter.

But I had a girlfriend in fifth grade, dammit, so I was kewl!

I didn't have my first kiss till 8th grade. And that's a WHOLE other journal entry. I have to be good and drunk before I write *that* one!

Ol' Binney was on the TV saying how, since he an Allah-wallah and the Muhammed are all bitch-buddies, he will definitely win this war.

Binney was looking kind of skinney! He went on the Binney binge-and-purge diet, looks like. And his beard looked a little trimmed. Seems he is getting himself looking HOTTT for all of his American soldier-buddies coming for a visit.

Damn... I may wanna come over and have wild Osama bin Laden sex.

(not really... just another search phrase for Google.)

And finally, I have been having Survivor withdrawel over the past many months. Since January, isn't it? Wow... this year's gone by quick.

I opened up the TV Guide this morning and read the profiles of the new contestants. I have a few comments (and you seem surprised???)

• Jessie -- the deputy sheriff, beauty queen, kick-boxing chick -- is going to be the star this season. That, or she's going to be kicked off first like last season's law enforcer. She's hottt. But not as hottt as...

• Kelly -- the homecoming queen, class president, sorority chick from Duke. She's going to be this season's Elizabeth. But I hope she give some sort of indication of getting naked for some kind of publication.

• There are a bunch of real idiotic luxury items being brought this time: face paint, crochet needles and yarn, and deer antlers are some. But the absolute WORST -- and should be his demise on Survivor -- is...

• Tom -- the goat and cattle herder. At first, I thought he would be this season's Rodger. Until I read his luxury item. And I swear, this is no joke. He's bringing a raccoon penis.

And that's no Google search phrase!

2:26 p.m. - Sunday, Oct. 07, 2001

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