mychai's Diaryland Diary

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From burritos to boobies: JP's life in a nutshell.

Ahhhh... Sweet relaxation! I just woke up after sleeping TWELVE relaxing, non-alarm clock-waking, comfy bed-laying hours.

I came home from school last night to Spanish-Speaking Neighbor inviting me for burritos. I heard, "Yadda-o yadda-o yadda0- burrito?" and I assumed she was inviting me over for burritos.

I walked in, sat down, and proceeded to stuff my face. The kids started crying, and the S-SN began to yell. I then began to wonder if she really invited me over.

Perhaps I should start beefing up on my Spanish.

But damn... Ever have homemade burritos? Holy bejeezus! Taco Bell can kiss my five pounds of fresh burritoed ASS. Except for the picante sauce. A little too much for moi.


I have yet another ammendment to the upper-level girl attractiveness theory I've been annoying the hell out of you over the past several weeks. This one's pretty important, so perk up.

The attractiveness factor of a girl in an upper-level course is directly related to her marriage probability.

So, say we have a -- 'a' meaning ONE -- girl in a 300 level course that is actually attractive. So, according to our little equation we have been working on, she is A ('A' for attractiveness) to the third power.

And, according to our new additions, she is also M ('M' for marriage probability) to the third power.

By the time I collect all of the factors -- which I feel I am nearing the completion of said collecting -- I will write an actual formula so you, too, can mathematically evaluate girls in your classes.

I bet you are turning shades of blue and red out of PURE excitement.


On a more serious note...

You know what I think is pretty depressing and absolutely downright shitty?

I don't know not ONE -- not a single, uno (see? Learning already) iddy-bitty example -- of a marriage that has worked.

I say this out of marriages that I know of personally. I mean... Bill and Hillary are still married. Yay.

Do they even live together? I haven't seen them together since she caught him with his "cigar" up some chick's poon.

But anyway. If you are about to get married, stay married, please? If not for your own, do it for my sake.

For yer ol' bud JP. Stay married for the Paulsetr.


I decided to TiVo the NBC show "Scrubs" on Tuesday night, and I was very pleasantly surprised! I am really liking these comedies without a laughtrack. I suspect that a lot of laughtracks are there to remind the watcher that a joke was just said; then he/she can then laugh along with the "live studio audience." It's pure psychology, my good reader.

I suspect that 90% of sitcoms wouldn't last without laughtracks. Remember "The Nanny?" My point exactly.

Anyway... If you didn't watch "Scrubs" this past week, probably what you read next will seem like I am just a super sexually frustrated 24-year-old.

I mean... I am. But I'm not meaning to broadcast it to the world quite yet.

In the show, there is a sick 11 year old who is being asked what he wants the most while sitting in the hospital, tubes hanging out of every oriface. The main character (I am horrible with names, so excuse my ignorance) expects him to say something like toy gun or Playstation.

Nuh-uh. He wants to see a set of boobs. "Real boobs, from a cute girl."

Co-star Chick just happens to be this REAL HOTTIE, and she gets talked into flashing her boobs in front of the 11 year old.

He instantly heals and goes home. She has magic boobies.

My complaint here isn't what you'd expect -- how dare some 20-something woman show this 11 year old her breasts. Nosirree bob.

I'm wondering why I haven't ever been shown a good boobie or two just for the hell of it.

I mean, I've gone through some makeout sessions where I've touched a boob. Don't get me wrong.

But I've never seen a girl accidentally fall out. I've never been flashed. I've never had a girl show me her nipple piercing.

What the hell is wrong with girls today??? Sheesh.

Then the new Victoria's Secret commercial came on. You know the one... where all the hot models are getting themselves off by rubbing their breasts up against some guy.

...

damn.

7:44 a.m. - Thursday, Oct. 25, 2001

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