mychai's Diaryland Diary

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Winnie Cooper makes me hottt.

Ok. For tonight, and tonight only, nobody call. Nobody come over. Don't try and message me. Because I ain't answering anything.

My face is going to be plastered on NBC. I'm going to be hitting PAUSE on the TiVo repeatedly. I'm gonna be sitting on a towel, because man, it's gonna be hottt.

I'm talking about, of course, Winnie Cooper being on The Weakest Link tonight.

Gawd. She was the object of every one of my wildest dreams when The Wonder Years was playing during Prime Time. Even still, I think she is an impression of who I look for in a girl.

Well, looks-wise, anyway.

See... Winnie went through these stages. The "Sweet girl next girl who will give you some sugar when you want it." And I'm not talking about white powdery sweet sugar. Nope. I'm talkin' suga.

Then she went through this real bitchy stage where she wouldn't give Kevin the time-o-day. I wanted to give her a little smackin' around, because she needed Kevin, and Kevin needed her.

Then, towards the end of the show, she was in the sexually frustrated stage. She wanted some of that Kevin ass.

I never saw much of the last season, so I don't know what eventually happened. I do have visions in my head of what most likely happened.

Winnie and Kevin got hitched. Winnie realized that Kevin was incurably impotent, she she dumped him. Because, really... who wants to marry a guy who can't wave the magic love wand?

So, freshly single, she found a real hottt guy named Jason Phillip (they called him JP for short) who could rattle her socks. They lived happily ever after.

Winnie and JP. Together, forever.


I changed my email address... finally. Fifteen spams a day were really pissing me off. Especially when only maybe one was from someone I knew. It blew hard, man!

So, if you are just reading from here and wanna email me, you can send emails to [email protected]. They will make their way to me. I promise.

I also upgraded my computer. With a strong need to overcompensate in one area of my life because of a small pecker need to occupy my time, I upgraded my memory in my computer.

Now, I'm going to upgrade to Windows XP. Dude. I'm gonna rawk.

But that's why I'm updating the diary so early in the morning. I'm not assuming anything will be here when I put in the upgrade disk and hit run.

For all I know, it will format my drive and then realize the disk has an error on it and say, "Screw you, JP!" Then, you'd be out of reading yer ol' bud JP for at least a week.

So, here's hopin'.


Holy Bejeezus. Winnie Cooper, and...

...Anne Robinson.

Maybe they'll realize I both have the hots for them, and they will start to fight it out for access to JP-Love. I'm talking about a hair-pullin', face-scratchin', bitch-callin', leg-kickin' fight.

Hey, NBC. You want high ratings during November sweeps? Have Winnie and Anne fight in prime time!

. . .

"Winnie. You ah the Weakest Link. G'bye!"

"G'bye yourself, beeyotch!"

"You don't talk to a British lady like that, you American who-ah!"

"You want a piece of this American ass?"

"G'bye!" WHACK

"OW!!!" running towards Anne Take this, bitch! slap!

. . .

And so on, and so on, until yer ol' buddy is squirming on the floor in sheer pleasure.


Really... I'm not all that creepy. I just have always had a Winnie vs. Anne fantasy.

I can't help that!


Well, I'm hungry. All of this writing has sparked my appetite. Looks like I'll be eating a pizza.

Someone write me, dammit. I'm used to getting 15 emails a day. Now, I'm getting nadda.

That's Spanish for "none". See? I'm learning.

9:43 a.m. - Sunday, Nov. 18, 2001

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