mychai's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- JP goes into depth about body hair Finally! Pay day! Sheesh... One can only eat so much Raisin Bran before his colon permenantly falls free from his body. Heh. Yeah, like you came all the way over here to read about yer ol' bud JP's colon. It seems like the days I write the worst load of shit imaginable are the days that people I haven't heard from in AGES send me an email: Hey, JP! Remember me from (highschool, junior high school, kindergarten)? I used to have this majorly huge crush on you. Looks like you changed. Sorry to see that! So... Yep. If you are just joining in, your eyes aren't fooling ya. You are reading about JP's colon. On only a very slightly better topic, we will commense to talk about JP body hair. Should we go from feet up or from head down? Hmmm... let's go from head down. First off, I need a hair cut. I'm starting to look like I'm paying homage to George Harrison from his goin' to India years. My hair's all kinds of shaggy. And when I wear a cap, my hair pokes out all around the rim of the cap. I think Spanish Speaking Neighbor is going to give me a haircut tomorrow. I just translate her spanish jibba jabba into phrases that offer me some kind of service... Spanish Speaking Neighbor: Jibbero Jabbero jaypee-o is hotto. Me: (translating)I want to cook you a steak dinner tomorrow night, JP. SSN: Uno Dos Tres, Quadro Sinco Says Me: Come over here and let me massage your shoulders. SSN: Burrito Enchalada, Taco filled Chihuahua me: Damn, JP. You are hotttt. Take me to bed! ... So, she said something to me the other days. Her voice was kind of raspy and she ran her hands through my hair. I just assumed she wanted to cut my hair. Come to think of it, she did put on some perfume just to tell me my hair was getting long... Also, I haven't shaved in a week. (If you haven't been paying attention, we are talking about JP body hair. We talked about my head, now we are down to my face.) I grow facial hair at an INCREDIBLY slow pace. Like I said, it has been exactly a week since I shaved. Most guys would have a full beard by now. Me? I have a little stubble on my upper lip and on my chin. That's only where I grow facial hair. My cheeks and neck are completely clean. How do sideburns know where to stop growing? That's just weird to me. On close inspection -- because that's the only way to see my facial hair... up close -- my facial hair is bright red. Which is weird because I have very dark hair up top. Unless I dye it, like I usually do. So, not only do I grow very little facial hair, but I obviously grow very confused facial hair. It thinks it is growing on Conan O'Brian's face. Kewl! Come touch my face, everyone! I have Conan's facial hair! Ok... For your own sake, we'll skip the body hair on my nether regions and we'll go down to my legs. More spacifically, the leg where I got my tattoo. And even more spacifically, the region around my tat. They had to shave my leg in order to get the tat on. It's now been nearly two months, and my hair hasn't grown back. I can see my grandkids now... "Grandpa?" "What? Want another beer?" "No... already had four. I was gonna ask you why you keep shaving your legs like a girl." "What??! You stupid, kid." "Then why is your leg shaven around your tattoo?" "Because I only get one shot at growing hair. I screw it up, and it never comes back..." I would write more about my body hair, but I have to go to my political science class. I was going to write my name and class information on the paper, but I just realized that I don't know the class title, nor do I have any inkling about what the teacher's name is. Sheesh. Ask anyone I know... I'm horrible with names. Horrible, I tell ya. Oops. I'm late. Chat atcha later. 6:51 p.m. - Wednesday, Dec. 05, 2001 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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