mychai's Diaryland Diary

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I'm back in Columbia!

First off, it may seem like this entry is a bit grumpy and grouchy. I don't know for sure since I don't really think about what all I may write until it actually comes out. So, it could come out all giddy and happy and nice. But it's been a grump-enducing several days.

So, I may sound grumpy. But I'm not. I'm full of the Christmas spirit that one has when he has to be 12 hours away from home and working 22 hours over Christmas .

I'm actually kewl about it. 1) I don't like Christmas, so that doesn't really mean anything to me. 2) A friend will be coming over to spend lonely time with me. I'm thinking pajamas and 24 hours of A Christmas Story would be a lot of fun.

They're actually predicting snow for this Christmas day. That would be neat, because I found this KILLER sledding hill about a mile away.

Ok. Not literally killer because, well, that would just be scary.

But this thing is steep, tall, and looks to provide a lot of good sledding. The only other time I've been sledding was when Mandy and I took a 1:30am walk around the neighborhood in search for a hill. We found one, sledded until 4am, and came home and crashed (as in, went to bed).

It was one of the best times I ever had with her. It was a Norman Rockwell painting waiting to happen: Walking home, we were red-nosed, exhausted, completely soaked, and cold, but we had a smile on our faces. It was a fun time sledding.

When the snow melted, we found out where we were sledding was a drainage ditch full of all kinds of crap. Oh, well. It was frozen crap at the time.


Speaking of frozen crap, a quick story to warm your Christmas hearts:

The first winter I had Daisy the Dog, she was really digging the snow. She'd go out, run around, get so cold that all she was was a shakey frozen blob of fur.

It would snow juuuust high enough that, when she jumped in the wrong place, she wouldn't be able to reach the ground and would bark so I could come out and dig her out.

In other words, she was cute as all get-out, but dumber than a terrorist with dynomite in his shoes.

So, one time, Daisy went out, did her daily making of "lemon sno-cones," played around a while, and came in carrying a big stick.

Daisy loooooved finding sticks and chewing on them. She thought sticks were the epitome of kewl.

So, she had this big ol' stick. She would rub it on my leg and make me throw it. She rolled it allll around my living room.

Then I got to thinking... There aren't any trees around my apartment. There aren't any trees with branches like the one she was carrying around for a good mile away.

When she got bored with her stick, I went over and looked at it. I got down real close to see what kind of wood it was.

Then I thought, "Well, shit."

Literally. I thought Shit. This is shit! Seems some big dog came in my yard and took a massive Christmas dinner dump in the snow. It froze solid, and Daisy decided it was a chew toy.

And she wanted me to throw it. And I think I was eating chips at the time.


Ever get so tired that you start hallucinating?

Ever start hallucinating while driving on I-70, an hour and a half from Columbia, in the rain?

I could swear that Christmas light laden windmill turned into a huge deer and jumped in front of my car. And that meteor that fell out of the rain in front of my car a few miles later -- it was real, too.

Why was I so tired? Here was my schedule over the past several days:

Friday - Saturday, Dec. 21 & 22

7:20am -- Mom woke me up before she went to work to say goodbye and that she loved me. Couldn't get to sleep. Called my visiting grandmother (not the Kramer step-grandma) to come get my ass because I was hungry.

12:00 noon -- Dad, grandmother, and I head off to New Orleans with no idea where the train station is. We find it, and my grandmother said she couldn't walk to the station, so I hugged her goodbye. Dad walks me in and watches the train leave.

2:00pm -- The train leaves at exactly 1:55, right on time, but stops about 5 miles down the track for an hour to wait on another train, running late, to arrive. If we wouldn't have waited, it would have ended in a fiery crash and no more JP diary entries. After sitting for 30 minutes, with no new scenary, I decide to lean back and take a nap.

3:15pm --We arrive in Hammond, LA. I'm still asleep. Black guy comes on board and decides to sit with me. No problem -- I'm sleeping. But he wants to wake me up and talk for a solid friggin' hour about how he travels all 50 states selling magazines to "benefit da yoot. Da trublet yoot." He then told me that he was the clasiest, best mannered, richest guy I'd ever meet. And if he lost $500, it was like me losing $5. I began to wonder why God allowed me to be born. I eventually just turned toward the window and closed my eyes, faking sleep. Dude STILL kept talking! Finally, he shut up and went to the lounge car.

8:00pm --My dinner reservation on the train came calling. I went and sat down. Annoying Black Guy came and sat at my table. There were two others at the table who looked really interesting, and I was hoping to meet them and find out about their lives. Nope: Annoying Black Guy talked the whole meal about how classy he was, how much money he had, and how much he loved helping the "yoot" out of drugs and violence all by selling magazines. I took my dinner knife and jabbed it deeply into my ears. Dude STILL kept talking. I would try and change the subject, asking questions about others. He wouldn't have any of that. Pissed me off.

11:00pm --Train arrived in Memphis. Only sleep I got was 45 minute nap just out of New Orleans. And I had to be at work in 6 hours, the exact driving time from Memphis. I was tired as it was.

3:30am -- Saw windmill-light deer and meteor. Decided things were pretty fucked up.

1:30pm -- After being awake for 30 hours, I finally make it home, shower, and lay down. Closed my eyes, but I couldn't sleep. Yep. Pretty fucked up, indeed.


So, it wasn't a grumpy entry. But long as all hell. Things'll get back to normal before you know it.

That's the news back home in Columbia. Take care.

(ps. Kwanzaa is a Hannukah rip-off. More tomorrow...)

10:46 a.m. - Sun., Dec. 23, 2001

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