mychai's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- JP wears him some glasses! I've been reading Hamlet for the past 4 hours, so forgive me if my writing comes out a bit Shakespearian in tone. Usually, when I read Shakespeare for long periods of time, I tend to think in Elizabethan speak. "Go thee to the bathroom," I say to myself. "And pee forth into thine urinal." Yes, I talk to myself when I go to the bathroom. And no, I don't talk aloud. See? There I go. I am reading Hamlet again because I finally got an idea for a paper I will write for my final. The paper is due by next Thursday, and the idea hit me last night. So, I had to go in, re-read the damned thing, and do some other research. I will be writing about Elisabeth K�bler-Ross' "Five Stages of Death," and how Hamlet experienced each of the five stages throughout the story. He experienced them from the death of his father as well as from the anticipation of his own death. It's not exactly a Pulitzer Prize winning essay. But I think it will achieve the end result of which I am looking: a final grade of 'A'. I have yet to make below an 'A' in any of my "major" courses. Yada yada I'm smart yada yada Bow down before me yada yada I am damn fine. Speaking of being damn fine... I am wearing my glasses! And I bet you want to see, don't you? This kind of puts me in a power position, doesn't it? I mean, you want to see. And I have the thing you want to see. And I have the power to let you see it or not let you see it. Of course, all of this is based on the assumption that you do, in fact, want to see a picture of me in my glasses. I mean, after all, they are just glasses. And I'm really not all that. But if you want to look... Take a peek. I didn't have anyone here to take my picture, so that is me taking my own picture. Quoting a conversation with my friend Lisa (who's just a polymer scientist): Lisa: ooh-laa-laa....now that's a sexy pose!!! So, yeah. That was what I waited to get for nearly three weeks. I wasn't as pissed when I actually got the glasses in hand. So, no nasty letters to Pearle Vision. My only retaliation is that I will tell everyone who reads daily that Pearle Vision took nearly 3 weeks to deliver on a 5-day promise. I bet I will shut them down! Their business, from this diary entry on, will become a downward spiral towards the deep depths of Chapter 13 Bankruptcy! Bwa-hahahahaha! Ok. So, all 75 (on average) of you who read this diary daily may not have any effect on the iniquitous Pearle Vision. I did my duty regardless. Speaking about the number of hits I get each day... If you look down at the bottom, you will see that I have broken 10,000 hits! This is a big deal for me! I never thought I would have my writings be read 10,000 times. That is truly amazing to me. All within a year, too. I would have thought it would have taken me a LOT longer to have my pages read 10,000 times. I look at a lot of other peoples' diaries and see that they have hits well into the hundreds of thousands, and it makes me realize that my diary is just a molehill. But it is big to me. So, thanks to everyone who reads. Let's see how long it'll take before we hit 20,000! I got a call from a lady in Minnesota this morning. At around 9:30 or so. I had just woken up. At first, I thought it was a telemarketer, just by the way she said, "Hi, is this Jon-Paul?" But instead of trying to sell me something, she actually wanted to buy me! Not that way, you f'n pervert. Remember? I'm still a private chef. I still allow people to buy my services. She has a friend in Mexico, Missouri, who slipped on Sunday and broke her leg. She's an older lady who lives alone, so she can now no longer cook for herself. So, the Minnesota lady wants to buy my services as a gift for her. Ain't that sweet? What a wonderful way to begin the day! I will enjoy spending all day Friday cooking. I'll be making 2 weeks' worth of food. It takes a long time to cook that much food. She wants soup. So, I can make a gallon of soup. That'll last 2 weeks, sho' nuff. I think with saying "sho' nuff," I have officially gotten off of my Shakespeare kick. Well, I am off. Tell me what you think of my glasses. You know, I DO have a message board that nobody uses. And you can email me. For some reason, everyone seems to use my guestbook as my sole message-posting tool. I love emails. I get giddy and do a little dance and make a little love every time I get an email. Send me some email, dammit! Finally, from the ever-so-wise mind of Lisa (who is just a polymer scientist>: lisa (who's just a polymer scientist) is the most awesome person in the world! 9:48 p.m. - Wed., May 1, 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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