mychai's Diaryland Diary

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Spoons: Not just for eating anymore

The weekend gods have finally smiled apon me!

In other words, I had an amazing, astonishing, astounding, miraculous, staggering, strange, stupendous, surprising, wondrous, cool, divine, glorious, groovy, peachy, sensational, super, swell, terrific weekend, all thanks to Marriam-Webster Online. It wasn't Marriam-Webster that made my weekend good, but it was them who gave me the right words to describe it.

Ever have one of those weekends where everything that could go right does? Since my world usually seems to be stuck in Bizarroville, I strike this up to Bizarro Murphy's Law. Let's start it out on Friday, shall we?


Friday

After my incredibly exciting day at MEPS on Thursday, I decided to skip out of class that night and just go to bed relatively early. I woke up at around 10:30 in the morning and lazied around for a little bit.

After catching up on a few shows on TiVo, I decided to go through my checkbook and do some organizing and planning. After going through the numbers for a while, I realized I had enough money to completely pay off the computer that I am typing on right this minute.

You know... the one whose keys and monitor are ALL MINE! I am now the official, 100% owner of a Gateway laptop, baby! Woo-hoody-hoo!

Crap. What I did after that, I just can't recall. Hrumph. I guess I am getting old. Whatever I did, though, was obviously great and good, because this was Everything Good Happened Weekend.

I do remember what happened on Friday night, though. I went to the casino.

Yes... I went to the casino again. This is because last time I went, I blew $40 on slots and blackjack. I hate being "down" at the casino, and it had been irking my mind. So, Friday night, I took another $40 and went to the boats. It was retribution time.

I like to "warm up," if you will, by playing slots. Nobody hardly ever wins at slots, but there is something about all of the flashy, colorful lights and incredible sounds that just draws me in. Within five minutes, my first $20 was gone.

After that, it was serious gambling time: Craps. Craps is my game. I know craps. Craps knows me. Craps and I... we are in love.

I played for quite a long time. Two hours to be exact. I got down to having one 50� chip in my hand and my last $5 on the table. That was when fate started grinning my way.

At the end of my two-hour craps spree, I went to the cashier window to turn in my chips. I walked out of the casino with a whopping... brace yourselves, folks... $75 in my pocket!

I'm still $5 down total, but I sure feel better about it now. When you get on a winning streak in craps, there ain't nothing in the world that feels better.

Well, that's not completely true. But for decency's sake, we'll just say that nothing feels better than winning at craps, wink-wink, nudge-nudge.


Saturday

I woke up and went to work. Nothing big there. But I did sleep for nearly three hours at work, which is always fun. Especially when you get away with it.

My job isn't necessarily the most interesting job in the world. Especially when you've seen every episode of "City Guys" at least eight times.

At 1:30, when I left, I saw how incredible the weather was -- cloudless, high in the mid-70s -- I decided to hit the biking trails. And since I don't have a bike, I did my usual walking.

I have walked all the way from Jefferson City to Columbia. But I haven't gone west much, so I walked about four miles west of the turn-off point that takes you to Columbia. You have no clue where the hell I am talking about. So, I'll spare you the details.

But, all-in-all, I walked about 8 miles. It was a great walk. And just as I stopped to photograph an old iron bridge that was made in 1897, these two Asian girls bicycled by. I heard, "Oh!" then *crunch*.

One of the girls' bike lost its chain, thus freezing up her wheel, thus tossing her to the road. She was ok, but she had no clue how to fix her bike.

Enter the Paulmeister.

Now, I have not a single mechanical neuron in my brain, but I did go through a few bikes as a kid. I know my way around a bicycle. Need the oil checked in your car? Don't look at me, Mr. Speedy. But if your handle bars aren't exactly pointed straight, I'm your man.

Two minutes of me bent down, and those two Asian girls were off once again, and I had some slightly greasy fingers. Oh, well. That's a small price to pay for my genius.

I got back in my car, and I got home at around 5:30. I got a call from my friend Angela the Hugger. She invited be to a cards tournament.

You all remember Angela the Hugger. She is the one that hugs anything with DNA. Hell... sometimes she doesn't even follow that criteria. If hugs were dollars, I wouldn't even have to go to the casino.

Before the card game, we went to eat at an Italian restaurant. I got this real creamy pasta with chicken and green peas. I didn't mean to get something creamy -- you know... my diet and all -- but it was damn good. I only ate about a third of it all.

After dinner -- and after prying Angela the Hugger off of our waitress, other peoples' waitresses, the cashier, the actual cash register itself, and several other guests -- we headed over to her friend's house.

Now, I have never heard of the card game "Spoons." But every time I mention it to someone, they invariably show me their "Spoons Scars."

The jist of spoons: You put one less spoon down on the table than the total number of players (i.e. four spoons for five players). Four cards are delt, then cards are passed around clockwise. When you get four like cards, you grab a spoon. Whoever is left without a spoon gets a letter put by their name. When you spell "SPOONS," game is over.

Except we didn't stop at "SPOONS." We kept going to spell "SPOONSBITCHMEISTER.COM" which took us a long time to play.

This game can get quite violent. Especially when two people grab the spoon at the same time. I had one girl start giving me right-handed jabs to the ribs. Yes, seriously! And another girl used... ahem... more fervid means to get the spoon.

When the game was over -- and Yours Truly being the official SPOONSBITCHMEISTER.COM -- Angela the Hugger had a gash in her face, the girl who jabbed me in the ribs had slashes in two of her fingers, I had mysteriously disappeard with the "other girl," and it was 3:00am. Two hours before I had to be at work. Thank God my phone has an alarm clock feature, because I ended up sleeping on the floor.

That was the most fun I've had in a very, very long time. It was incredible being around a group of people so eager to laugh and have a great time. It has been a long time since I've met a group of people and couldn't wait to see them all again as soon as I left.

Ever have a group of people that just made you feel good about yourself? That was this group for me.

Now... if they would only carry this game at the casino.


That leads to today. Sunday. The ten-hour work day. The ten-hour-work-day-on-only-two-hours-of-sleep day.

So, it is safe to say not much happened today. But work wasn't all that bad. I was still laughing from the night before.

You know... we came up with no less than 45 euphemisms for sex. I didn't think that was possible. I guess several glasses of wine and beer will do that to ya.

One thing I am very happy about today, though, is that the high was only 72 degrees. Even the most pessimistic weather person has to agree that hot weather is now gone. Fall weather has arrived.

You have no friggin' clue how much I adore fall. I love it. I... I...

Love, enjoy excessively, dote (on or upon), idolize, worship, admire, esteem, coddle, indulge, pamper, spoil it.

Well... not all of those, but you get my drift.


Thanks to Angela the Hugger for having an exceptionally good sense of humor about the moniker I use for her on here. She's a very sweet and generous girl who happens to be single and is paying me to redirect any emails I may get about her to her mailbox. Oh, and yes... she does hug that much.

10:07 p.m. - Sun., Sept. 22, 2002

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