mychai's Diaryland Diary

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JP Goes Gallivanting in his Underwear

I'm glad I made a double batch of gumbo last night. The greedy classmates ate every last drop. And our greedy teacher even went back for seconds. Greedy bastards.

I guess I should talk fondly of them because I told them all about this diary. I guess I should mention how beautiful of a class it was. Lots of gorgeous girls in this class. Granted, they are all either married, engaged, or living with their boyfriends.

It was a class of about fifteen. There were three (four if you count the teacher) guys. You do the math. And if you were around quite a long time ago, you will remember that I formed a mathematical equation that formulated the number of good looking girls in an upper-level course. Basically, the higher the class, the fewer good looking girls.

Well, this class blew my mathematical theory right out of the water. We had Miss Moberly in the class, for goodness sakes. Miss F'n Moberly who has a diamond the size of Mt. Everest on her hand!!!

Can you tell I am kissing lots of ass right now? I'll be having a lot of these ladies in other classes, and I want them to continue to think I'm a nice guy who cooks for them.

I thought it would be funny to wear my Will Cook for Sex apron to class, so I did. And I got a lot of chickies to walk me to my car after class.

Ok, ok. So, they were helping me carry stuff. But a guy can wish, can't he?


Gosh. Tuesday entries are so hard. Usually, I get up at the very last minute, go to work, end up dozing off repeatedly all day, swear I will quit, come home and go straight to bed, sleep for four or five hours, then get up and try and write a diary entry.

What kind of interesting things can you write about a day like that?

I guess I could talk about how fun it is to have naked time. But I don't really like getting naked. The only time I like nudity (or near-nudity) is when it is funny. I could never join a nudist colony. Not funny enough.

But then again, I must say that I got some of the most excellent boxers at American Eagle Outfitters a week ago. I am all about wearing really kewl boxers.

And I am going on a ski trip to Colorado here in a few weeks with ten of my closest Missouri friends. And guess which ten people will be getting gratuitous exposure to my boxers.

Yep.

Speaking of kewl boxers, did you see the black guy from the very loveable K-Mart/Joe Boxer commercials dance on the "Today" show on Monday? For being a black guy dancing around in just his underwear, that has been one of the most successful ad campaigns I have ever seen. You don't see too many people who dislike the ads. And the guy has so much energy and such a great look about him that -- even though I am a straight, girl-loving guy -- I look forward to seeing the ads.

And yes... when I get out of the shower and put on a fresh pair of boxers, I do the boxer dance.

(JP Sidenote: How cool is the Internet? I got to wondering what that song is they play for the K-Mart ads. So, I did a quick search in Google, and I found that he dances to a song called "Jet Sounds" by Nicola Conte. I'm listening to it as I write this. Close your eyes and imagine me doing the dance...)

Another company who was doing poorly just a year or two ago seemed to also get the right idea by investing in a quality ad/marketing team is Toys-R-Us. Have you seen the new ads with "Geoffery the Giraffe" where he is making prank phone calls?

Priceless! "Oh, I love that one!"


Well, I am all tankered out from all of this boxer dancing. I am leaving for home before the butt-crack of dawn, and I have yet to pack a single thing.

I'm a lazy little bum.

I am also packing up a lot of my cooking equipment because my mother's kitchen supples suck donkey ass. And she keeps threatening to leave them to me in her will, at which point I threatened to just throw her old, wrinkly, cold body off of a cliff somewhere if she did.

I also bought a nice, supple butternut squash to bring home and make soup with. I am thinking about making butternut squash soup and split-pea soup, and serving the two side-by-side in the same bowl. The two colors together would be just incredible, and the flavor probably wouldn't be bad either.

Have a great Wednesday. I'll be updating next from Southern Mississippi.


One last thing before I go. Oh, and another thing. Two last things before I go...

I added another story to Creation. It's a long one, and so I split it into linkable sections. That way, you can take a break and come back to it if you wish. It's called "August 24th."

And a lot of you have emailed and signed the guestbook. I have been busier than you could imagine, and I haven't been able to respond. But that doesn't mean it won't happen. Just give me a day or two, and I will get back to you. I gotta return all of the great lovin' I've been getting. It's been really great!

10:23 p.m. - Tues., Dec. 17, 2002

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