mychai's Diaryland Diary

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Here's my list, now hook me up.

Was it the Golden Globes that was on tonight? Maybe the Emmys? Or Oscars? I dunno. I can't keep track of all of the hundreds of awards shows that go on this time of year.

Someone at work asked if I was excited about it, and they were shocked and downright offended that I said that I couldn't care less about awards shows. It's not like we don't massage the egos of actors and actresses enough.

Case in point, Wil Wheaton, whose blog I am becoming less and less fond of. I quote a segment of his blog where he talks about getting a call from his agent about a movie audition:

"He said, 'Wil was really, really, really, fucking incredible!' He was very happy with what you did, and told me that he was very impressed."
I let out a girlish squeal. "Really?!"
"Yes. He said that you were phenomenal..."

Yes, Wil. We get it. You are fantabulous and great. Now, here's your award. Shut up already.

On a similar topic, though, is about this one TV show. It's a bit obscure, and I don't know if you have ever heard of it. It's called Friends.

Seriously, I never watched a single episode until this past September. It was my rebellion against pop culture. But I eventually got to the place in my life where I just said, "Eh. Who cares?" Plus, Friends reruns come on for a total of 1.5 hours off of satellite while I am at work. So, it is a very good way to pass the time.

At first I hated talk of Ross and Rachael. Mostly because I didn't know who they were. Now, all I can think about is how I wish they would get back together because they are just so gosh-darned cute.

Eck. Gag me with a spoon.

But I was thinking... In the spirit of celebreties and with a certain Friends episode in mind, I present to all of you my list of five celebreties I reserve the right to sleep with if, by chance, we end up meeting one day.

• Selma Hayek First off, she's short. Second, she's "spicy." And she has that dark, olive complexion and dark hair that drives me batty. I've seen her in interviews and she seems like a lot of fun. Ooo la la.
  
• Norah Jones Well, duh. Again, dark, curly hair drives me wild. Plus she can play the piano, which I find to be soooo incredibly sexy. Besides, have you seen her sing? She makes sex faces when she belts out certain notes. Drives me wild.
  
• Rachel Weisz I'm going across the big pond to England for this girl. If having wonderful hair and a fantastic body wasn't enough, she also comes complete with a British accent. Holey moley! I first really got to see her in the movie About a Boy. She's wears some sexy dresses in that movie. If anything, watch that movie for her. But it's a great story, too. Those Brits know how to do it up.
  
• Natalie Portman The requisite Jewish girl. She looks so pure and sweet, someone you could easily take home to Mom. And Dad would be proud as well. She's a little younger and more petite than the others, but when she wore those tight, raggidy clothes in the latest Star Wars installment, she shivered me timbers.
  
• Jennifer Connelly Remember her in Labrynth? What about Rocket Man? She has progressively gotten more and more beautiful as she has aged. Too bad she just got married. Oh, well. Maybe I'm on her list as well.

Now I have to figure out how to print this list on a small piece of paper and have it laminated so I can carry it around in my wallet.

Ya know... Just in case I run into Selma Hayek in a coffee shop one day.

Some bad news from the family:

In a strange twist of coincidence, my uncle was bitten by a brown recluse spider just last week. As reported by my dad: "Your Uncle Mike was bitten by a brown recluse spider two weeks ago. Had a lot of trouble with his arm, and was off work for several days. Of course being off work was right up his alley, and he went to the river to recuperate. That's Uncle Mike."

My uncle has a camp down by the river. No... he doesn't live in a van down by the river. It's more of a camper. But regardless, it's just a camp. Kinda swank, if you ask me. It wouldn't surprise me if he provoked the spider to bite just so he could have a few days off.

Second, I found out recently that my grandfater was only given 3-5 years to live due to prostate cancer. But he is about 80 years old. He is living on borrowed time anyway.

He just got remarried a few weeks ago, and they are moving into his new wife's pad. This means that he is throwing everything in his old house to the pack of wolves known as his family. Do you know what this means for me?

All of my (dead) grandmother's cast iron. Probably 50 year-old, extremely well seasoned, better-than-gold cast iron. Man. I was sooo excited when my mom told me this. Who cares if the girls in the family got all of the gold and diamond rings?! I got the cookware, baybeeeeee!

Oh. And my sister? The one with the world's cutest kid? Yeah... she's pregnant again. I have my own opinions about this, which I will keep to myself until a little later.

Well, it's very late. I'm very tired. And I have to work tomorrow. On Martin Luther King Day.

Which I am not too terribly fond of. But hey... They pay me 2-1/2 times my normal pay at work just so I will come in tomorrow and watch TV all day. So, if you want to pay me to recognize a holiday I think is rediculous, then by all means, I'll recognize it.

I call it Milk day. MiLK. Get it? I'm all about quick wit.

10:24 p.m. - Sun., Jan. 19, 2003

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