mychai's Diaryland
Diary
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German customer service:
Thank you very much for connecting up with Deutsche Telekom! Your phone will be connected in the near future, but until then, please remember these points from your partners at Deutsche Telekom: - We are very thankful that you chose Deutsche Telekom. We understand that you had no choice at all considering we are a government-subsidized monopoly, and even the cell phone service you could have gotten instead of the land-line service is also owned by us. We still like to say "thank you for choosing us" because we don't want you to feel like you had no choice, even though you didn't. I guess you could have opted to send smoke signals. But open flame in Germany is illegal without a permit.
- Your phone will be connected in ten to twenty business days... maybe. You can take off work on Monday, April 5, and wait around between the hours of 8:00am and 1:00pm. We may come. May not. Frankly, we don't care. But we will be billing you for service starting then. Where are you going to go if you don't like the terms of service? Huh?
- When we do come, we will be connecting the phone line in some random apartment. Not yours. This way we can justify billing you for service.
- If you wish for us to return to your building and connect your phone line, please send a letter on government stationary (German government, not your own personal government.), that has been signed by the President of France, to our office in Belgium. We're sure you can find the address. If there is any error in your German grammar, we must decline your request. Please allow four to six weeks for processing, and then begin at step number two (see above), but we will send a telegram to you in Morse Code to let you know what day you can take off work.
- We have established your internet account. We accept thank-you letters, by the way. Unfortunately, you cannot access the internet from your apartment until your phone is set up.
- By law, you cannot call us up and complain. Seriously. Nor can you flip off our technician once he finally arrives. Large fines will be incurred, and your phone will be disconnected for one year.
- Once again, than you for using Deutsche Telekom, for all of your telephony needs!
1:37 p.m. - Sunday, Apr. 11, 2004
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