mychai's Diaryland Diary

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JP rants about girls. Print it out and read on the toilet.

Ok. I'm a little drunk and somewhat tired. So... I'm ranting.

I'm not one of those drama kings (I'm definitely not a drama queen) who is always "Oh me, me me!" and "I've been wronged!" and "I'm always the victim!" and "Please feel sorry for me!" like some people.

Those people are the f'n worst! Blah! Gag me with an f'n spoon!

But then again, we all have problems, and sometimes it just feels good to bitch for a while. Ya know?

I had a friend who was completely and honestly just a friend. Totally innocent for once. It was a girl, but it was one of those girls who would come down to my place and we would watch TV. Sometimes we would be in normal clothes, and sometimes we would be in pajamas. Sometimes we would order out pizza, and sometimes we would watch sappy movies and eat ice cream. It was one of those relationships where we were just comfortable being together without having to put up some kind of weird, fake front. There were no tensions between us. It was just... comfortable.

Her boyfriend flew in last weekend. He flew in because he is being stationed here. I knew she had a boyfriend. I knew there wasn't any kind of relationship between the two of us; that there couldn't be any kind of relationship between us.

But since her boyfriend flew in, I haven't heard a word from her. She hasn't returned my emails. She hasn't returned my calls. As far as I feel, I don't even exist to her.

I feel... I feel... like an old, dirty, used rag. And the worst thing is... I shouldn't!

We had this comfortable thing going for, like, three or four weeks. All we did was watch TV together and walk to the gym together every now and then. We really didn't even have much in common other than we both liked watching TV in flannel pajamas. In fact, she kinda got on my nerves when she talked. I enjoyed her company most when she kept her pie-hole closed.

So, tell me... Why do I feel like I have been stepped on? Why do I feel like my best resource has been used up and thusly tossed aside like an old gas can?

People ask me, saying, "Hey, JP. Why don't you get out more and meet more people instead of focusing all of your attention on one or two people?"

Because there are only one or two people in your life at one time who will be completely honest and loyal to you. The rest of the people are just looking for a way to fuck you over. That's just a fact of life, bucko. And I'm not one who will waste time and energy on someone who will fuck me over.

I've given people the benefit of the doubt before. But I ultimately find out that they are looking for ways to put one over on me, and I cut them off completely.

It's so I don't feel like the moron that I feel like right now.

Knowing my luck, she's going to get all �ber-drama on me like others from my past and find some way to make her the victim. Oh, well. I guess I should be used to it, huh?


I filled out two song forms at Karaoke night tonight.

(That's why I a drunk, by the way. Eight SoCo and Cokes and two beers...)

The two songs: "Yesterday" by the Beatles, and "Why Don't We Get Drunk And Screw" by Jimmy Buffet.

I was at the bar on my third SoCo and Coke when she called my name for the first song. I finished up my order -- since alcohol is more important than singing karaoke -- and ran up to the stage. I asked a friend of mine to take my slips up while I was at the bar, which he dutifully did. But, before taking my slips up, he filled out another one for me that I didn't really feel like singing.

Namely, "Rocken' Robin".

Yeah... tweet, tweet-tweet. The little bastard.

A girl I kinda like was sitting at my table and just watched with the weirdest look on her face. I think my chances with her are now slim to null.

Grrrreeeaaaatttttt...... Thaaaaaaaannnnks.

I dedicated the "Get Drunk and Screw" song to all of the ladies at the bar tonight. "But only the ladies who were born as ladies," I said. I got a little laugh.

But you try singing that song on six SoCo and Cokes. I doubt I'll get laid in the 21st century.


I'm not working overnights anymore.

At least for another month. I'm now working "swings". As in, from 3:30pm to 11:30pm. My least favorate shift. But I'm only on it for a month, then back to overnights. Yay.

They needed more people on another weather flight, and since I was all "Super Honor Graduate" and all... her-her... they picked me. According to the Captain who called me into his office to apologize for switching me all around, I should feel honored that they picked me.

Whatever, dude.


Ok. I'm finishing this because Sesame Street is on and I wanna watch. Nothing better than drunk Sesame Street.

Word.

1:08 a.m. - Friday, Jul. 16, 2004

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