mychai's Diaryland Diary

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JP's psychosis about women is revealed.

My boy Marcus IM'd me saying, "Hey, Jon. Blow your load on the treadmill lately?"


I found the most amazing thing to eat in the whole world:

First, get a banana, then peel it down. Next, get a knife and a big tub of Nutella.

Then, slather on big globs of Nutella all over the banana, and then gobble it down. It's a great way to get your potassium! Sure, you are probably defeating any health benefits of the banana with the most delicious spread ever, but who cares. It's good.


So, it's official. Girls suck. Give one the slightest little peak at your heart, and she'll hawk a big ol' loogie right on it.

You know. Quick observation.


I went to dinner the other night with Brookey-Brooke and a guy popularly known as Cowboy, though his nickname could have been "Crazy Talk Real Loud About Things That Don't Interest Anybody But Himself Boy" and nobody would have known any difference.

But his German landlord's daughter showed up at the restaurant to deliver the keys to his apartment since he was probably talking to somebody about how his grandfather used to like to drink a lot of beer and inadvertently locked himself out.

And she was humina-humina-humina hot. Just stunning! Brown, curly hair. Big, brown eyes. An incredible German accent. She is studying international languages (or something like that) at college in Mainz and has travelled extensively. Very smart girl with a very warm personality.

And dating a guy named Cactus. Boy, how lacking can a guy like me get?

I was talking to Brooke about girls -- she talks to me about guys -- and I made the comment that I typically approach and show attention to girls that I am not attracted to.

Does this make sense to you? Lemme 'splain.

What I meant was, had I seen this German girl at a coffee house eating alone and sipping on her coffee while writing in a journal, I could have in no way approached her to talk. And I could give the following reasons:

  • She is way too beautiful to be single. So, there's no use in going to talk to her because I'll end up liking her and can't do anything about it because she already is in love. And that would just cause a lot of hurt and suckiness.
  • Maybe she's taken and a bitch. Time has been wasted because now not only am I not attracted to her because of her attitude, I will spend the whole night pondering how such a beautiful girl can be so abhorrent.
  • She's such an attractive girl that she surely gets hit on all of the time. I'd be "just another guy" who interrupts her coffee and journal writing.
  • She's such an attractive girl, why would she have anything to do with a piece of work like me?

These are all very good reasons. I am much happier sitting back and catching glances of her as she sips her coffee. Perhaps I think it is unbelievably sweet how she very lightly dabs her upper lip with her tongue to taste reminants of coffee lingering there. Maybe her dark hair is so lovely hanging off of her ear, just waiting for someone to push it back.

Maybe she laughs real cute through her nose or bites her bottom lip after a really good kiss.

But I ultimately assume that a girl like that wouldn't have anything to do with me. But at a table on the other side of the coffeehouse is a girl who is somewhat homely and can maybe interest me. She's not that good of a poet, and she doesn't really talk that much except about her old grandfather who likes to drink beer.

But at least I know she will accept me and will let me sit and be her company for a while. And she'll be excited that "some guy" came to talk to her.

And perhaps things progress past the coffeehouse. Maybe we go to a movie. Then, here I am stuck on a date with a girl I don't even like, when, in all likelihood, the original girl wasn't taken, did laugh through her nose, and was hoping someone would come and listen to her interesting stories of walking on the Apalacian Trail all alone.

But really, which is more likely? One of the first four possibilities or that last one?


Ok. I'm just making myself sick and lonely. So, I'm going to sign off.

Have yall made it to my Mini Conundrum? I'm starting to really like it.

I hope all of you are having a good day.

1:47 a.m. - Tues., July 27, 2004

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