mychai's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Look! A letter from JP! Dearest Diaryland friend, Hi there! It's your ol' bud JP! I know our communication has been spotty over the past week. I've stopped by only twice this whole week, and I am sorry. Things have been pretty hectic around here with packing, getting my affairs in order, finishing school, drinking, more drinking, and shooting powerful and deadly weapons at sheets of paper. Thankfully, school is over for me. Well, not really. I still have somewhere in the vacinity of 20 hours left before I can get the actual degree. But before I leave for Canada and boot camp, school is over. One girl in my grammar class was a Greek girl. I thought about asking her if she'd seen a particular movie about a weeding involoving big fat Greek people. But then I assumed as many people ask her about that as make the "Pope" joke about my name. It isn't funny after the very first time. And everyone makes that joke after they ask me about my name. Frankly, I find it annoying. She was very pretty, just like all of the Greek girls in the movie. I will definitely have to go to Greece on vacation one day. But then again, I want a Greek girl who can speak English. Maybe I'll just go to the Greek community near Chicago when I visit there. My dear friend, I have a very gross weight loss story to tell you! You know that I have been losing weight like crazy to appease my recruiter and -- more importantly -- win a weight-loss bet against my friend Carrie. Well, a week or so ago, despite constant working out and keeping tabs on what I eat, I started gaining weight pretty quickly. I was back in the upper 190s. I was mad. But then I got to thinking. It was a long time since I had gone to -- to put things nicely -- "play king." You know... sit on the throne. I'm talking many days. Bordering on a week. I immediately started eating loads of oatmeal and carrots. I had apples, I had celery and peanut butter (for celery alone is vile). And again to put things nicely: "Yada yada yada..." I'm down to 188. I know I shouldn't write about bathroom matters. But I think it's quite funny that the sanitation workers nearly went on strike all because of me. Who says I'm insignificant?! I do have to bring you some terrible news considering the colony of Sea Monkeys I got many months ago. There is only one surviving Sea Monkey left, and I think he (or she? I can't see the important parts) is on his last leg. It will soon be curtains for poor Mr. Sea Monkey. All the same, though, because I am about to move and I hear that Sea Monkeys don't store well in self storage. The Sea Monkey population in my little aquarium has been dwindling pretty steadily ever since I got them. I don't think it has as much to do with my lack of care -- they are generally well fed and seem happy -- as it has to do with genetic depression. In such a small container with such a limited supply of fresh DNA, I think they basically "Missouri Boothill" themselves to death. Oh, well. They were fun while they lasted. The living thing I own that I fear for the most is my Venus Fly Trap of Doom. In one month, I will have had it for a solid year. From what I hear, they are very difficult to keep alive. I am proud of my little Hercules. It has grown quite large and now asks for some of my human blood in order to survive. I'm kidding, of course. In fact, the Venus Fly Trap of Doom is in my refridgerator, enjoying three months of stasis. They have to do that every year, so I've read, or else they will become tired and die. Well, that has to be it for today's letter. I again will apologize for not writing as often as I normally do. I'm sure you understand. Next time I will tell you more about my night last Wednesday with the guns and beer. A good time was had by all. Have a good day! Sincerely, 10:59 a.m. - Fri., Mar. 7, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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