mychai's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A new bed -- a new house for me! Wow! It's been a few days since you have read anything new 'bout yer ol' bud JP. I guess you can read about my toilet misadventures only a few times before you get sick of it. But, I have been a very busy guy lately! Yes, very busy indeed... I was at work on Sunday, like I am every Sunday, and I got to reading the classifieds. Y'see... My back has been hurting lately. Not just regular hurting: Remember that old game Mortal Combat? I say "old game" because I have no clue if it is still being made. I'm not a Nintendo player, or whatever it is Mortal Combat was played on. It was fun to play in passing, but I have never felt the need to buy a $600 gaming system. ANYWAY... Remember that Mortal Move (again... whatever it was called) where the guy reached through his opponent's stomache and yanked out his spine? That's how I feel. I figure it's either my futon and/or couch that is making my back throb in constant pain. It hurts constantly! Have I told you how much it hurts? Not only does it hurt, but when I walk I hear things back there pop and fizz. It isn't a pleasurable experience. So, anyway, I saw an ad in the paper for orthopedic beds. I know, it's a fancy adjective and I probably got ripped off. As you can guess, I bought one. And, even though I don't have sheets for the dern thing, I slept on it last night. More like... I got it delivered yesterday at 4:15. I had it unwrapped and on the floor by 4:30, and I woke up at 9:30! It is one comfortable sumbitch! My good buddy and I went out for some beers last night. He's a whole other entry. He's kewl shit. But, I came back, tried it out again, and then woke up at 4:15 this morning, bright and shiney for work. Even though my back still hurts, it doesn't sound like chimpanzee in the middle of mating season when I walk. Hopefully, this bed will heal me! I have lain UPON the GLORY of a bed! HALLELUJAH!!! Speaking of beds... I have a funny story. First, go look at this picture. It's important for the story. Go look! I'll wait. .... Done? Ok... So, when I took that picture, it was a cold, snowey day. I was still living with Mandy at the time, and she was gone to work or out drinking and spending the night with some guy. Who knows... Anyway, I was bored with my digital camera, so I got me a real fine idea. I would set the camera on timer, take a running jump, and take a picture of me flying. I didn't realize it would take 30 tries to get the one I wanted! And that wasn't the worst thing I didn't think about. I first started my jumping on Mandy's bed... a metal-framed futon. Lemme give you some advice: If you weigh around 200 lbs, don't take running, flying jumps onto a metal futon. The thing will crunch like a coke can. And if it is your girlfriend's bed, you will never -- and I repeat, NEVER -- hear the end of it. She will hound you. She will badger you. She will make you sleep on the couch. It will make her into an alcoholic, and she will throw 27 lbs of dog food on your new bed because of it. Believe me! So, I have a new bed. Since I have decided against getting a new roommate, I am gonna fix up the empty room to be my bedroom and my current bedroom will be my study and guest bedroom. And so I have asked the help of my newest bud, Hot Hipanic Chick, to help me decorate. She's the apex of coolness. And she's a sorority chick, so she knows what hot sorority chicks dig when they go to a guy's house. That way, I may get lucky! Because I'm sure they don't much care for bare walls, no coffee tables, and underwear hanging off my ceiling fan. Skid marks flying around your room at 300 rpms sooooo does not rawk to hot chicks. Well, I am off. I need to edit a paper I wrote on Sunday for my poetry class. "Discuss the techniques used by [poet] Gwindolyn Brook." Yessiree... Makes me wiggle in ways unmentionable. 5:38 p.m. - Tuesday, Sept. 18, 2001 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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