mychai's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My first twinges of nerves about boot camp. I'm really thirsty tonight for some reason. It couldn't possibly be from the Montel show I watched earlier. They were talking about medical miracles, and one story was about a woman who stuttered so badly that she couldn't even read a book to her little daughter. The medical miracle was the SpeechEasy device that looks like an itty-bitty hearing aid. She put it in, brought out her daughter, and the first test of the device was to read a book. She was crying, her husband was crying, Montel was crying, the doctors were crying. And me? I was sobbing like a six-year-old girl who witnessed the death of her kitty cat. It was just so beautiful and touching. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm as surprised as you are. It's usually Oprah that makes me cry. Remember that entry a week ago that Nicole wrote for me? About my niece Darien learning a cuss word? Well, fiction mirrors the truth, ladies and gentlemen. It started a day or two ago when the brother-in-law was feeding Darien while I was making some bread. I was half-way listening to the TV as I was kneading the dough, and I was the other half-way listening to Dariens ga-ga's, goo-goos, and shit-shits. Wait. What was that? The BIL heard it too. "Shit! Shit!" He looked at me. I looked at him. I kinda laughed, and he looked at her and said, "You better not be saying what I think you're saying." "Shit! Shit!" she replied, smiling, asking for more food. I don't know where she got such terrible, vile language. But I have a good idea. Neither the sis nor the BIL are good at watching their language around the Little One. Plus I'm not helping much by encouraging the bad behavior. Which, in turn, my sister says, "If you don't quit that, I'm going to knock the shit outta you." "See, Darien," I say. "Mommy says it, too!" I'll never be allowed to babysit when the kids get older. I don't think the Panama City newspaper included a link to my diary. Which is a bummer in most aspects because I was hoping to get a zillion hits to the diary. It's also a blessing because of the whole family situation. I've started getting nervous about boot camp. But not for reasons you'd think about. I'm actually quite ready to go. I'm tired of sitting around, doing nothing, twiddling my thumbs, eating bon-bons. It'll be nice doing something for money again. No, I am nervous that I will do something or mess something up, and I will inadvertantly cause the entire year (plus a month or two) of hard work, determination, and sacrifice to be a waste. I honestly don't know what I would do if that happened. All my eggs are in one basket at this point. That's a bit frightening. But risky. And without great risk there can be no great reward. At least that's what I read on one of those posters that have images of people climbing up rocky cliffs. So, I am starting to get really self-conscious and paranoid about everything I am doing. Will taking Alieve mess up my drug test? I drank a glass of wine last night... should I drive today? I'd rather not drive to the store... someone may run their car into me. So, these are the things I am getting nervous about. It's not the fact that I heard my friend Justin said that boot camp is worse than he expected. Nope. I'm not nervous about that quite yet. But I suspect I will be soon. I only have two weeks as of today (Tuesday). I've been reading several peoples' accounts of their experiences at boot camp -- like this guy's account -- and it seems like I will have enough time to write at least one letter to my friend Mike a week -- more as time goes on -- for him to publish to my diary while I am there. And, as the time goes on, it looks like I will be able to update myself, which is cool. Ok. That's it from me. I am taking my sister to the doctor tomorrow morning. Well... I am taking Darien to the doctor. My sister thinks the Little One may have a bladder infection. It wouldn't surprise me. My sister is a Perpetual Walking Bladder Infection. She's like one of those X-Men people. But with a really crappy power. So, I should get to sleep so I will be all chipper when taking her to the doctor. 11:50 p.m. - Mon., May 12, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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